yoga anniversary

so right now, im sitting rather lazily on the couch (just like yesterday! imagine that!) ...thinking about what i should make for my next meal of the day. or first meal of the day as the case may be. it is 1pm right now. ive eaten three oatmeal raisin cookies and had two cups of tea. not exactly breakfast.

im thinking of making some dal. but id really like to watch an episode of lost first. i got myself called out of work tonight--i hurt my knee at some point on friday--im thinking it occurred when i did chakrasana the other night. i think i had my knees out of alignment.

see that's the thing with westernized yoga--advanced poses are considered safe for beginners. i am most certainly a beginner--ive been practicing yoga for two years--two years this week, actually! two years ago, i was in new zealand...on the south island, about to begin a one week yoga retreat. that was essentially my true introduction to yoga. i was breaking up with my ex boyfriend at the time and the yoga retreat provided the perfect opportunity to begin our "break." we were supposed to go on a 4 day hike together. i basically ditched him two days before the hike and said "im rolling out to go on a yoga retreat. enjoy the hike."
we were in the process of breaking up--(im not a total bitch) i just expedited that process.

anyway, westernized yoga...back to that. whenever i am in a vinyasa class, i recognize that i look like a yoga baby because i absolutely refuse to get into poses that i dont know to be safe for my body. im sorry--but there is no way im trying handstand or headstand or crow or any of those top of the yoga pyramid poses. first of all, i have no health insurance--and im pretty sure i signed a waiver releasing the studio from any liabilities. second of all, those poses are intended for advanced practitioners. which i am not. of course, in america, we are encouraged to push our bodies to their limits. i am the antithesis of this american ideal, as i sit there in child's pose or shoulderstand, while everyone else inverts effortlessly. perhaps they are all just that farther along in their practice. or they have health insurance. ohhhh how luxurious that would be.

at any rate, im pretty sure skydiving is considerably safer than practicing some of the yoga poses i am encouraged to attempt during open level vinyasa classes. and i have skydived. so me not forcing myself to tip forward into crow is not just because im a scaredy cat.

so back to my original point--i got myself called out of work. its super bowl sunday. there is 2 feet of snow on the ground. my car is 10 blocks away at my friend's house. there is no way in hell im riding my bike in this ice. not without health insurance. not for the 30 dollars id be lucky to make tonight. the perils of being a waitress. when it is going to be slow, you simply dont have to work. sometimes its nice. but it also engenders laziness and an empty bank account.

today it is quite nice. i will finish this little blog post...watch an episode of lost...have a little snack....and start cooking some dal.

there was a period that lasted about two or three months during which i simply was uninterested in food. i wasnt trying to diet. i simply wasnt focusing all of my energy on what my next meal would be. which is quite atypical for me. well, let it be known that that period is over. i want to eat ice cream and cookies and cheese. i keep thinking about all the new restaurants i want to try. food becomes an obsession for me. i need to focus on finding a balance between these two extremes. im not very good at finding balance. but i am very aware of this. which is a start.